The Great Life of Rudy Card.

you can now check out what im up to by going to rudycard.com which is my website. i blog there. thanks.

So, it's been forever and ... i dont know. i was stuck in austin for a few days. bad luck. i get home to find my car has a flat. only later to find it needs a new battery. only later to find out it needs a new alternator. only later to find it needs a new serpentine belt. WHAT THE FUCK!!! it was fine before i left. i knew i should have left my car at kathias house. i missed alot of work when i was gone. im broke. i had a breakdown yesterday... i missed my prom and nobody cared. i was denied the money i had been waiting for. my fucking mother was being a bitch and fucking yelling at me because i cant afford to pay for the parts for my car right now and because im not walking graduation (knowing my mom, she would go to my graduation for 30 minutes and leave, so whats the fucking point?) and all this shit. i seriously need to get the hell out of this house. out if this fucking area. i used the rest of my money on online poker, and i lost it all. what the fuck am i gonna do? i was ready to join the army. but ... im not sure. i really do want the skills, and the training and the adventure and the money. i was thinking of trying the reserves first. but now im not sure about that. they cant be trusted. and once im in ... i have no freedom.

i feel like ... not killing myself, but ... i want to accidently die. naturally. im so tired. and i have nothing. at all.

my mom told me i look like Sid Vicious ...



WOO HOO!

ok ok ...

to all my fellow camel smokers out there...

if you dont use your Camel Casino Chip Codes ... GIVE ME THE CODES!

i can TOTALLY use them!

please!

.

well. i went to Harleys house. we played soul calibur 2 and then we watched the family guy movie [that i borrowed from some guy at school]... it was funny, but not as funny as the series.

i had thee weirdest dream ... i was banging my pda against my iBook, and then the screens popped. lol. then i was like ... NOOOOOOOOOOOO! for like 5 minutes. then i went to livejournal and i posted about how i broke them. and then my mom gave me like ... 100-something dollars.

ohhhh yeah... i get paid today! woo hoo!

i want to forget these past days.

i ... assume the best in things.

i should know better.

im sorry i bothered you that way.

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often. You tend to give more than take in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

Your Blogging Type is Pensive and Philosophical

You blog like no one else is reading... You tend to use your blog to explore ideas - often in long winded prose. Easy going and flexible, you tend to befriend other bloggers easily. But if they disagree with once too much, you'll pull them from your blogroll!

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

Your Ideal Relationship is Marriage

You've dated enough to know what you want. And that's marriage - with the right person. You're serious about settling down some time soon. Even if you haven't met the person you want to get hitched to!

Your Personality Profile

You are funky, outdoorsy, and down to earth. While you may not be a total hippie... You're definitely one of the most free spirited people around. You are very impulsive - every day is a new adventure. However, you do put some thought behind all your actions. Still, you do tend to shock and offend people from time to time!

Well, my weekend was going okay. I saw Jon at pan am today. Then i practiced capoeira. Then L-E came and picked up a modem and driver cd that i was giving him. Then i went back to practicing capoeira. I tried for the au sem mao...but i need to keep practicing it, my body doesnt trust my brain i guess.

I feel so overwhelmed with grief. Seems like history is, yet again, repeating itself. I dont understand what im doing wrong. I go to school, i work, and most of all - im very nice to everyone. I would give everything i have to someone if i only knew they'd truly appretiate me for it. I think im soon to be on hold again. Sure, im used to it, but it still hurts - everytime. A few minutes ago i just had the most horrible rain on my parade. Why do bad things always happen to me? I definetly dont deserve this. I hate my feelings. I'm very sensitive about them.

And just when i think everything is going to be okay... every happiness i have is short-lived and always ends up corrupt. i dont know what im gonna do. I hope all turns out okay. And i dont want to have to be 30 when it does. This entry could go on and on. But, i'll stop now. i just need to think.

i downloaded skype... and i think it would be cool if everyone downloaded it and called me with it. =D

my username is rudycard. ADD ME AND CALL ME! ...its fun! it's free!

Well ... here's me...

welll ...

i cut my hair all by myself with no help.

i love it!

im at the beachhouse.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

i'm taking lots of pictures.

and yeah ... i just ate a shrimp cocktail.

so in conclusion ... im doing better than most days.

HAPPY 4th OF JULY [firecracker day].

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATHIA! i know im a little late... but happy birthday! i hope youre having a great time! i hope youre drunk and singing and having a blast!

-Love, Rudy!

Well.... schools out. everything is boring! Anthony is back from Austin for the summer. (i havent talked to him in years) and yeah... i was wondering ... when someone fills out a quiz thingy... and posts it on their lj ... if you dont like what it generated for you, you try switching around answers, right? like ... instead of "Birthday: 01-01-2000, you put ... Jan, 1 2000", that way it'll hopefully give you a cooler thing. lol. NEVERMIND! im tangling myself up in that! lol. Anywho ... im gonna try to go to sleep, i should be having a good day coming tommorrow!

everything is very boring.
school is almost over. THANK GOD!

i have no friends.
i want Kathia to come home already more than anything.

and my birthday is coming up in august.

im still single..almost gonna be a year now.
sans sex, sans love. nada.
i havent even gone out.

im stuck on dial-up from hell.

i want this ...

everything sucks. lol. i got dial up ..thats all thats available here in the boonies ... so someone email me at ... rudycard@earthlink.net ... i can be like ... your new best friend! hahahaha ...seriously... it gets lonely out here.

well i moved. there is no roadrunner in my area, and no DSL, either. I get to drive now. I've been driving to Loves 3 miles down the road to be online for a while. it's nice out there... but its too far from everything. Anywho ... im tired. And i gotta finish this program. Ciao.

I recently moved out to the parts over Edinburg where it is just lots of land and nothing. There is no ROADRUNNER in the area! NOT EVEN DSL! of course, there is always Dial-up...but i'd rather not. So... The only way i can use internet, is here at school... or if i drive over to Loves with my laptop. If you know my phone number, call me...it's the same number.

something happened.
i didnt expect it, but it did.
it was weird.
dare i say.

we'll see what happens.

If you've ever seen this movie ...


then you've seen the babysitters boyfriend in the movie.
and if you've seen him, you've seen his camaro.
i cant find a picture of it... but it looks exactly like mine!
except the license plate! i was watching it and i was like "HEY!"lol
here's my car ...

Sorry if it sucks ... i only had 10 minutes to do it!

We had a picnic at a park,
The Kathia left to Denmark.
She came for Christmas Break,
And it was fun - it was great!
We cruised the streets,
Put up the beats.
For good ol' times,
Chinese was on our minds.
That's something of us that was fond.
And just like that, She was gone.